So, I'm totally going to be on a blogging roll yesterday and today. I am sick, with a cold, so I'm sitting around playing on the computer. I have like no immune system it appears.
Anyway, there is something that I was thinking about the other day that I thought might make a good blog post, so I'm going to blog about it, and you might not like it.
I totally realize, just as much as anyone, if not more, how important it is to make sure that we raise out kids right and guard them against the world. With that said, I am going to talk about 2 acquaintances and how they need to relax. We will just call these some of my pet peeves.
Pet Peeve #1:
While at a friends house for a 'play date', another girl was there that I didn't know. Her daughter found a little plastic tea set and brought a cup to her mom. She asked her if she wanted some tea. As LDS, we are not supposed to drink caffeinated tea, so this upset the mother. The mother was telling her, 'why don't we just have some hot chocolate?" And her daughter kept saying 'Tea" and this was clearly upsetting the mother. After the little girl went away, the mother said, "I don't know where she'd even get that, we don't drink tea". I drink tea, and I like it. There is something called HERBAL tea, and it's okay to drink. It can even be good for you. So if you're a Mormon, and your kid wants to have a tea party with pretend tea, so WHAT. Lighten up, not all tea is bad. It's not like she was all, "mom do you want some beer?" I strongly believe in choosing my battles, and this, my friends, is not battle worthy.
Pet Peeve #2 (the biggest):
While babysitting some kids at my house, Izzy said the word, "butt". And one of the kids I was babysitting proceeded to freak out. "We'd don't say butt Izzy, It's a bad word!!". Then she came over to me and told on Izzy. And I told her, "butt isn't a bad word, it's a body part." And she said, "well, it is in MY house so you can't say that word when I'm over here!!". Then I took deep breaths and felt really angry at her attitude, and at her mother for teaching her a body part is a bad word. I am in complete agreement, that you shouldn't CALL someone a butt, but why can't you SAY it? I think that to teach a child that a BODY PART is a bad word is really not good. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if butt is a bad word, penis and vagina are even worse. In my opinion, teaching kids that butt and other private part words are bad words that you shouldn't say, is teaching them to be ashamed of there body.
When Lily started school, she didn't know the private part words, she didn't know much about sex or anything like that. And I realized that with her now in school, she'd either learn those things from me, or from her peers. So one day something came up that led us into the conversation of what the real names for privates are, and that they are not just called 'privates'. I explained to her that they are words that we don't joke about, because they are words we respect, because we respect our privates.
I am proud that I can have open conversations with my children about this stuff. If I told her that those were 'bad words' and not to say them, she would get the wrong message about them AND i feel like it would close off opportunity to have open conversations about them.
So that is all, probably no one will read through this whole thing, cause it's long, and there are no pictures. I'm pretty sure the people I'm talking about don't read my blog, but if you do I'm sorry to offend. Just realize that my opinions are different. Feel free to blog about how horrible you think I am.
If anyone DID get all the way through this, let me know what you think!
I LOVE this entry!! I do agree with your opinions, too. (By the way. I grew up in a home where the words "butt" and "fart" were very much frowned-upon...guess what my kids' two favorites words are? hahhahah...and GUESS WHO DOESN'T CARE?!)
ReplyDeleteBAAAAH!!!! I just wrote a super long comment, and then when I hit "post" blogger said there was an error with the cookies and deleted it. ANNOYING.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I agree with the first one completely. Get a grip, people!
I can understand the other perspective for the second pet peeve, though. While I wholeheartedly agree that the actual names of body parts shouldn't be bad words, such as "penis" and "vagina," I would argue that "butt" isn't really the actual name and some may view it as slang. And we all know that there are lots of slang for body parts that we'd be appalled to hear kids (and even adults) using. Of course I don't expect people to actually use the word "buttocks" (and I'd probably make fun of them if they did), but I think that "bottom" is just as good as "butt," and understand why some may prefer their little ones use that term instead. For instance, you never hear "bottom" used in name-calling, while "butt" and "buttface" happen to be some of my most oft used terms when someone I love is...well...being a buttface. (Did you know I was so mature and dignified?)
Anyway, even with this super long RAMBLING comment, I'm not sure I accurately got across the point I'm trying to make, but I hope you understand what I'm saying.
Once again, I personally use "butt" and will allow my kids to do so, but I understand the other perspective.
Geez! My comment is as long as your post! So you can always rest assured I read your long wordy posts. :)
I did it! I read it all!
ReplyDeleteI totally
agree with you! We can be heathens together! We're pretty open about sex and functions and body parts around at our house too. I can draw a sweet diagram of a woman's reproductive system. :) I would rather have them getting their facts and morality from me and getting it right, then from their peers.
Good job Camilla, butt I don't think you should apologize for anything you blog, and who you are.
Camilla, that was actually an awesome post, pictures or not.
ReplyDeleteI have strong feelings about pet peeve #2 as well. Generally, we can bottom and bum, but butt is NOT a bad word. We also say vagina and breasts ... as well as boobies. Generally speaking,t he word penis hasn't come up with my 2.5 year old yet. We're not quite there. I TOTALLY agree that if you'd not up front and honest and OPEN now, how will you be later? Gwenna even goes around, sometimes, saying that daddys put babies in mom's tummies. (If the kid has questions, be honest, answer it to the best of her understanding, and move on!) Anyway, I agree that butt is a mean thing to CALL someone but we all have one, that's for dang sure!
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ReplyDeleteAgreeing with Heather's comment, the idea of people choosing not to use words because it's not their style doesn't bug me. So if that's the motive, ok cool.
ReplyDeleteHere's what bothers me: If underneath lies that "Hush, Hush" attitude of uncomfortable words and topics. Whether we like it or not, children need answers. Friends and Media lack the wisdom, facts and love parents have, but too many kids go there for information. So sad that so many issues stem from believing friends/media because kids didn't have that safe communication established with their parents to recieve real guidance.
I totally read it all. I love reading your posts, dude. Let me tell you something. If my mom had been HALF as open about this kind of stuff when I was growing up, I could have avoided feeling SUPER awkward during the conversations about my period. Ugh. Bad memories! And before I got married, I wouldn't even let her talk to me about sex! Yikes! I love my mother, don't get me wrong. She's a WONDERFUL mother and I wouldn't trade her for anyone. But, I literally remember sitting around with my family, watching Phil Donahue (yes, DONAHUE. Ha ha.), and some sex comment came up on the TV. My mom stopped the show, and made us all say out loud the words, "penis," and "vagina." Talk about horrifying. I don't even remember how old I was. So it's just kinda one of my goals to be more open about things. And even though I still say "bum", I don't think "butt" is bad.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Seriously, I loved it! And of COURSE I read the whole thing. I feel the same--my point with the words is that they're understood for what they are and not used to make fun of either their body or someone else with name calling.
ReplyDeleteMe, I pick and choose for the occasion whether I'll say butt or bum, fart or toot, etc. If I feel like the occasion deserves something more formal, fine.
I agree with Rae on it all... I talked with our mom about it once, and she explained that her reason for not even laughing when we passed gas was she was afraid we'd go overboard and just make fun of gas all the time. Well guess what? We did anyway! And I don't mind, to be honest. If she wasn't comfortable laughing with us, okay. But it didn't really change anything.
So I laugh when Ender passes gas, and he laughs too, and that's all. We don't go around being all crude about stuff (granted, he's just 3).
So there's my long answer...but it could have been longer! I'm just stopping here. ;)
Oh, ps: herbal tea, yeah, no big deal, and I wouldn't even mind if my kid pretended to have a "regular tea" party because the whole idea of tea parties is fun! Maddie and I used to make sort of bitter hot cocoa when we were out of the good stuff, and to help us enjoy it more, we pretended it was coffee because we could make fun of coffee drinkers. It was just fun, and no way were we thinking of becoming coffee drinkers. When it's all within reason, who cares?
That just made my comment even loooonger! :|
OK, I think the root of the problem is the same for both peeves. I think the mothers freak out because of how it reflects back on them. The mother was freaking out over her kid saying Tea because she thought someone would judge her or think that she drinks tea *Gasp shock horror* There are people who don't understand that we can drink herbal tea. I had a friend who was a convert and that's what he thought. You should have seen his joy when I told him herbal tea was a-OK. We even had a letter from the first pres read that said green tea and herbal teas are OK, just stay way from the lipton and ice teas.
ReplyDeleteThe butt thing is, I believe, also a "how will this reflect on me?" thing. If you don't want your kid running around calling people butt's then address it, but I agree body parts are not bad words. As a mother I don't want my kid running around calling other people any names. I think the danger is putting such a stigma on a word. You can even tell your kids, "hey I don't like that word so we aren't going to use it in this house, but you will probably hear it around. Don't call anybody that or your toast." End of discussion.
When I was about five I took the Lords name in vain because I had seen it on TV. My aunt freaked out, and guess what? I thought it was hilarious, so you know what I did? Yup, I said it as much as possible around her until my mom talked to me. Told me why it wasn't respectful or nice to do and then I stopped.
Another point about the tea, we used to pretend we were drunk so....yeah....I think I turned out OK. I have not turned to a life a drunken debauchery. Never touched the stuff actually. So yeah. Camilla for the win on both counts.
I read it all! Thanks for writing this because seriously, it needed to be said. I completely agree. Camilla, you are awesome!
ReplyDeleteagreed.... I am a convert and cant shelter my kids too much or they would have a heart attack every time we went to visit my family ha ha
ReplyDelete