My Lily

I am SO thankful for my sweet little Lily right now.  Let me back up at tell you why.

Last night, at 4 am, John gets out of bed, John NEVER gets out of bed in the middle of the night.  So, I lay there and wait for it.  He pukes.  He comes back to bed and I say something to him about him being sick, and I am SURE there were curse words.  I couldn't really sleep the rest of the night, he kept getting up to puke.  But mostly, I couldn't sleep because I was SO upset that we had a new bug in our house, and that the caretaker was sick.

After Maya got up at 7 or so, I nursed her, and took her into the girls who were watching cartoons.  I told them that I was still sick, and that John was up all night puking  and I was going back to bed for a while.  Fast forward to 10 am with Maya crying and knocking on our door.  I feed her and put her down again and go out.  Lily happily reports that she got everyone breakfast, bagels and cereal.  She put Maya in her high chair, cleaned her up, got her down.  Then she said, 'doesn't the kitchen look exactly the same as it did last night?"  (The kitchen is NOT in good shape, but that's besides the point).  She had put there bowls in the sink and cleaned up everything, and she was so proud.  Then lunchtime rolled around, and I got really nauseated, I profusely apologized to Lily, but I had to go lay down in bed until it passsed.  (nausea is common for me right now).  I asked her if she wanted me to help her make lunch before I went to bed, and she said, 'that's okay mom, I've got it".  She insisted she was sure.  When I went to bed, John was awake and saying he was feeling well enough to take over again.  I layed in bed and told him about his wonderful Lily.  It made me have tears, because she is so fabulous.  She will be 6 in June, only 6, but she is so wonderful, big and responsible.  She has helped us SO much in these weeks that I've been sick, it's so overwhelming.  And the thing is, she likes to do it.  She likes to help.  When I went back to bed, Izzy was arguing with her about something, I told her that Lily was in charge right now, and that it was like Lily was the mom.  And I know that I can say that, even with her at 5, and know that she won't abuse the power and be bossy to her sister.  She is just so amazing and wonderful, there are no words.

In other news, I'm not really a 'luggie hocker' if you will.  I have a huge aversion to it. I know that it's super gross to just cough it up and swallow it down....grosser than hocking them up even.  But I just can't do it.  Today I accidentaly coughed one up, and it was bloody.  So I've been coughing them up, and they are all bloody.  It's not like I'm coughing up just blood...it's bloody mucas.  So anyway, that worries me.  Even though it could have been going on for a week, and I just didn't know it, it is still worrysome.  I looked on google, and that can be a symptom of pneumonia, but still.  I have a check up w/my grouchy pants insta care dr tomorrow, we'll see what she says.  I just hope it's usual pneumonia symptoms and she's like, no biggie, and sends me home.  I've had it with being sick and i've had it with hospitals.

I would like everyone to do me a favor.  Tomorrow, when you are at your worst part of the day, doing something you hate, like cleaning the kitchen or folding laundry or scrubbing the toilet for the millionth time, think of me, and just be glad you can do it.  I'm not trying to be dramatic, but my house is a pit, and I'd be so thankful if I could feel well enough to clean it right now.

Disclaimer:  I took my percocet (to help me not cough) an hour ago planning on going to bed.  Anything that doesn't make sense in this entry is a product of that.